[jaamkie]

My opinion, as a woman, is that it's all about balance between needily rushing into a relationship and appropriate open connection and cold closed-off distance. I think men starting on the needy-rushing-into-relationships side can benefit from learning to slow down and have more confidence and independence. I also think men who are too hesitant/intellectual can learn to take more chances and open up to immediate experiences.

On the other hand, I think men who are already more than confident and aggressive enough use the community as justification for their narcissistic shallow manipulative interactions with women. In those cases, I think the mantras "I don't care what she thinks of me, I'm not attached to the outcome, there are a million more women to choose from" close them off instead of opening them up to really connect with a particular woman on a deeper level.

Of course I think this equally applies to Cosmo etc relationship/sex advice- it's good for women to try to see the world from men's point of view and understand why common female habits can harm relationships, it's good for a woman to be confident and independent and not ashamed to enjoy sex, but women can also use the advice to justify cold manipulative behavior if they take it too far.