| Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 58
|  Old PUA Notes
I found a file on my computer that contains some old notes I have on pickup. They are about a year old so I probably won't agree with everything that is written here but there's still some value in them:
-there are no rules - only guidelines
-sometimes you can break each of them and still get the girl - avoid dogmatic thinking
-Being attractive isn't something you do, it's something you are
-2 Ways to get amazing women: become an amazing manipulator or become an amazing man
-you are naturally attractive - you have learned some limiting behavior and beliefs
-what you need is a shift in your sense of identity and to rewire how you carry yourself
-you need to strip away all the layers of social conditioning and get to that core, authentic, masculine self
-the basic assumption made by most unattactive men: the woman is on a pedastal - the man is lower value
-this assumption is the foundation from which men search for manipulative tactics to "trick" hot girls into liking them
-the truth: it's all in your head
-you are equal to the most attractive women you could possibly imagine - you need to understand that not only on a logical level but also an emotional level
IMPORTANT!!!
-most sticking points will correct themselves by continually going out
-go out a minimum of 3 nights a week until you have reached your desired level of skill
Common Misconceptions
-looks are irrelevant - good looking guys get girls b/c they think girls like good looking guys so they give themselves permission to behave confidently; you should still take care of yourself but do it for you - don't do it to get girls. If you are 1% more charismatic than someone better looking than you, you will get the girl
-money is a non-factor - in many cases, it can be a hindrance - goldiggers etc; like looks, money gives some guys the excuse to act with confidence; similarly, get money for yourself, not to get girls
-romance can be useful if the girl is intimidated by you and you need to convince her that you actually like her - for the most part, useless because it's associated with low-value chodes; when you get this part of your life handled, you can bring romance back if it is coming from a place of authentic self-expression and not neediness
-friendship first - associated with chodes who are unwilling to own their real desire - don't try to "fly in under the radar"
-women have autopilt responses and if you use the same approach that all the needy guys use. she will probably reject it even if she would like you - (imagine what it would be like to be an attractive woman who has been hit on 50 times a day since she was 18)
Attraction
-is an emotional response, not a logical one
-based on 2 things: behavorial cues (subcommunication) and how other people react to you (social status)
-cues in behavior: Eye contact, Vocal tonality, Body language, Sense of individuality, boundaries, indifference to outcome, Confidence to say what you want and stand out, decisiveness, humour and playfulness, comfort in your environment, indifference to what people think of you, your self-directedness, conviction and grasp of your own standards, your sense of entitlement and willingness to go after what you want, the emotion with which you say things, having a sense of internal value that is not predicated on the acceptance of others, being outside your head
-her emotional response to behavioural cues are far more important than her logical preferences
-initial approach: the words you say hardly ever register - the more attracted she is becoming, the less the words matter
-express your real personality authentically and amuse yourself
-focus on building a connection, not sharing information - feelings not facts
Tactics/Techniques
-2 uses: avoiding autopilot responses and handling logistics (she's there with friends who will judge her if she goes home with you, she's only in town for a night, she's wearing headphones etc)
-learn them as the situation come up and you have a need for them (available on the internet - do your research)
Belief Systems
-your behavior is an expression of your belief system - shift your beliefs and your behavior will shift
-ask yourself: will this belief increase my chances or decrease them?
-some beliefs to cultivate:
-what I have to say is valuable simply because it is coming from me - my unique perspective is inherently valuable
-she is interested in what I have to say because she is interested in what I find interesting
-girls like me for me (not because you have money, a cool car etc.)
-sex is no big deal - it's just a way to cement a connection
-I am genuinely interested in other people
-Socializing is fun and an end in itself
-Everyone is already my friend
-I see the best in people and people see the best in me
-Everything in the world is funny
Deserving and Permission
-your unconscious mind already knows what to do for you to have an abundance of amazing women in your life
-but it doesn't think it's okay for you to be that attractive version of yourself
-the two biggest blocks you face are a sense that you don't deserve to have a high level of success with women and that you don't permission to take on this new identity
-both are just stories/rationalizations you are telling yourself
-this is why it is important to study personal development - you must eliminate these internal barriers to success
-read: Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins
Fear of Rejection & Caring What Other People Think of You
-by continuing to go out, you will endure sufficient rejection that you will no longer fear it
-the key is to barrel through the initial phase where you are scared - use progressive desensitization if you have to
-your new religion must be to no longer care what other people think of you
-accept that if you are going to live life on your own terms, you are going to be subject to criticism and judgment - it's a small price to pay
Presence
-read: The Power of Now & A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
-get out of your head, get into your body
-when she is talking, soak in what she's saying with your entire body as opposed to thinking of what you are going to say next
-being present if often enough to take care of the attraction phase for you
Masculine polarity
-the essence of masculine polarity is drawing your emotional state from within
-the good feelings in your body should be self-generated
-whatever you feel, she will feel - the good feeling in your body will be contagious
-do the inner body meditation described in Tolle's books with eyes open
-also study Anthony Robbins' techniques for state control
Self-Esteem
-most guys in the seduction community are coming from a sense of lack - they don't feel good about themselves
-they think getting hot girls will fill that hole in their sense of self - it won't
-the irony: most guys don't really want to have sex with hot girls - they want the validation that they associate with it
-you must be coming from a place where you are are complete on your own
-while building your skills with women, you must simultaneously build a fulfilling life of your own design - get healthy and fit, find a life purpose that compels you, build strong friendships with other men
-you want to be approaching with a sense that your life is overflowing with value so that the girl's reaction makes no difference to you- this is the only cure for neediness
-more irony: a lot of guys are self-actualizing for the wrong reasons (to get girls) but it works out in the end
Bars & Clubs
-why go to clubs? - lots of girls in a small area allows you do a lot of approaches in a short period of time
-after a rejection, you can be talking to another girl in less than 5 seconds instead of getting stuck in your head
-mentally review your approaches at the end of the night and write down the lessons you learned
-once you get a base level of skill, you can add day game
Attitudes Towards Women
-a lot of puas harbor a lot of anger/hurt/resentment based on past experiences with women
-you must clear up all your emotional baggage related to women - ex-gfs. girls you had crushes on, girls who rejected you, female friends, sisters and especially your mom
-don't stop until you have nothing but love for women
-any negativity you harbor will manifest in your behavior and prevent you from attaining lasting success in this area
Abundance Mentality
-there are more girls that are exactly what you are looking for than you could ever possibly meet
-never get caught up in the idea that you MUST have a particular girl
Premature Ejection
-there are only 3 acceptable outcomes to an approach: you close the girl, you screen her out, she rejects you
-don't leave just because it's awkward, uncomfortable or not "going well" - stay in there and make her reject you (you must consistently push your comfort zone)
Physical Escalation
-start from the very beginning - it is extremely weird to make a move on a girl when you haven't even touched her
-turn up slowly - like a volume knob
-usually need create a pretense for going back to your/her place - watch a video, listen to music etc. - to avoid her autopilot response (she doesn't want to be seen as a "slut")
-key words: "it just happened"
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