[funchy]

The problem is that if you read the PUA sites, the goal is the score. Not a relationship. Not to be kind to another. Not to be honest, giving, or considerate. The whole energy is put into getting a SCORE and nothing else matters. The woman isn't a woman, she's a vagina or a spot on a scorecard.

It's a cycle. Male isn't sure he trusts women. Male buys into PUA mindset and treats women like scorecard marks, and everything is put in terms of "if I do X, I can get Y from her". Some women buy into the act, so it's proof the whole mindset must be correct, right? And then it becomes proof that women must all be "playing a game" too. And if the man can't be trusted, clearly by this logic women can't be either. Which goes back to reinforce the idea that women aren't worthy of trust & respect.

PUAs don't realize that their lines only work on the naive or on a woman who knows he's fake and is also using him. Is that really a big conquest when you can exploit someone who is still too innocent to see through the lies? Doesn't the PUA know it's the act the women are reacting to, not the real him?

I feel it's sad because it's often times good people who just lack confidence who get pulled into this. And as good (or cute, funny, and smart) as he was, I won't take him seriously if he's trying to be Mr Pick Up Artist. Some of them outgrow it and now have to work on trying to make sex meaningful again.

And since it's only about notches on a bedpost, not relating to another human being, guys can get caught into trying to score two in a night. Then it's three. Then, to get the same initial thrill, they keep pushing themselves to pick up someone every night. What happens when the deep loneliness catches up with him even when he can screw a stranger each night? Isn't loneliness the reason why he started searching for help in the first place?

I think my biggest bone of contention is that the entire thing is a sham. If I open an acting school and teach someone to act like a doctor with an act that makes him appear confident, that doesn't give him the skills to do surgery. And, one day when acting gets old, what is left? A guy who has a 1000 meaningless, quick sexual encounters with strangers and who still doesn't know how to relate to a woman as a person? Will he ever trust women if he knows how easy it is for one person to play another?

There are many better ways to obtain self improvement without giving up one's identity or respect for the opposite sex. Not all dating self improvement is PUA. Stick to the honest stuff.... or just be yourself, throw all the books away, and get out there & relate to people.

And as a side note: this isn't about polygamy vs monogamy. I am not trying to make anyone commit if they don't wish to. I just want them to be themselves and be honest about their intentions.

Just my 2 cents worth.