I wish you the best in reaching your goals.
My husband and I have talked about this extensively and have both chosen to remain monogamous. Our reasons are based on the fact no matter how we spun it, we saw the need for sex with others completely ego-driven. It is not a religious thing for us at all. It is not about wanting to own each other. We do not own each other. I do not feel he is "my" man and I do not feel like I am held back in anyway. We just didn't see how sex with others would strengthen US. Infact, we saw it as taking away from what we have.
To those afraid to even touch the subject with their spouse, I say you are doing yourself a huge disservice. It's a conversation that has strengthened our marriage and I highly recommend it. We didn't come to the conclusion to remain monogamous in one conversation, it was over a few weeks. For awhile we were almost going "poly" even and it felt exciting. But, then we both came to the same conclusion at the same time that it just wasn't something we need in our lives. But, knowing this and knowing we can talk about it, has opened doors and actually made our sex life in our little monogamous world quite exciting.
Good luck to everyone! Being "enlightened" means knowing what you want out of life and being willing to stand up for it, too, not just "going against the norm."