This was interesting for me to read, and I wish you all the best. I've been actively and openly polyamorous for eight years now, most of my adult life, and it's always felt right to me, and it has been very emotionally rewarding. Perhaps to confound a few assumptions: I'm a woman, almost all my partners have been men, and many of them had no other partners during the time we were together.
Most of those relationships lasted at least a year, some many years, and ended on warm terms. I'm still really good friends with many of the guys. Along the way I met and married my now-husband, writing our vows without language of exclusivity, because our life paths seemed to naturally intertwine for the long term. We plan to have children in the next few years. He hasn't had other partners, although he loves to flirt. Since I've been married, I've most often had only one other relationship.
It was really reassuring to me that you're kicking this year off with extra intimacy time with Erin. If I might offer advice, it would be to make sure to maintain something like that - especially if a new relationship takes off, the rush of endorphins and the amazement of getting to know a new person on a deep level makes it really easy to get lost in the rush of New Relationship Energy. That's when the responsibility of reserving some energy for your existing relationship becomes really important. New relationships can be like a drug; don't let them pull you to short term actions that are hurtful.
As some advice to Erin, you might take this opportunity to explore something new for yourself too. Not necessarily a relationship, but something else to develop independently of Steve. Partly just because sitting around at home doing the usual stuff while your partner is off on a thrilling new adventure kinda sucks. If you alternate being off exploring being a volunteer zookeeper or contra dancing or whatever it keeps things more balanced.
Anyway, good luck to both Steve and Erin. Although I've usually been a lurker myself, there are a lot of wise people on the internet with lots of polyamory experience, and their words have been very valuable along my path.
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