Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen  Yeah. What a way alright. I wonder how the kids feel? (or will feel about their father)
All things must be paid for.
Cause and effect. |
Stephen you seem to have a particularly strong reaction to this one. Actually this is one of the first major things in a while that I agree with Steve on. (My partner and I have talked about this a lot ever since the beginning of our relationship and generally agree about this. You could say I'm "polyamarous" but actucally neither of us has had a sexual relationship outside of each other as of yet).
To me the prevailing society view about monogamy is predicated on posessiveness - as if marriage means you own another individual. That individual is supposedly there to fulfill your dreams, and make you happy -- like a dish of ice cream. Actually, the best way to love another person (whether it's a child or a partner) is to allow them to grow and develop in their own right (and sometimes that's threatening). Still, when a partner experiences the world in a new way it enriches the individual and the couple.
As Steve freely admits, that doesn't mean that everything is going to smell like roses. Life, lived expansively and authentically, is quite obviously unstable and threatening at times. That's life. An "open marriage" could involve a couple which is just sex-crazed ... but have you considered the possibility that it could also involve people who love each other and who want each other to experience freely and grow?
I, for one, can't think of any other way to learn so much about the world, people, and oneself than to experience relationships in all their forms (and that by no means refers to merely sexual ones - but they are included).
Since you've taken the liberty of hurling moral condemnations at Steve ("sexual weakness") - might one also add that certain moral condemnations could be hurled at you on the basis of your feelings surrounding this issue?