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Originally Posted by steveo4  Thanks for the reply....good stuff:
2.) Were these people of the opposite sex? I can't imagine meeting a guy on CL, and I've tried meeting girls through it, but without much luck. In my general experience with online dating, there's a ton of rejection and very little upside. To be perfectly blunt, there were lots of times when I was kind of terrified of being seen with the people I was with, which I know is an awful thing to say (and for all they know, they felt the same way about me), but it was just how I felt. The girls I've met in real-world settings seem far more normal/attractive/likable/well-adjusted, so I'd obviously prefer to find a way to get to know them better rather than resort to online dating.
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Yes, they've all been women. I've tried replying to guy's ads or posting my own, but no one ever replies. I think it's just an implicit homophobia. The thing is that I have no intention of dating someone from Craigslist. The people I've met just tend to be of the more shy type, but they all have social groups of their own, and I can usually meet those people as well.
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4.) On nights when I wasn't doing anything with friends (which is becoming increasingly common) I've occasionally forced myself to "get out" but it's always proven to be a complete waste of time. I'll force myself to a concert or bar but everyone else who is there is with other people, and I have absolutely no idea how I'm supposed to approach another person.
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Yes, this is very hard. You have to just force yourself to do it. For each venue you go to, you have to walk up to people and say, "Hello, I'm XYZ. I'm new in town and I'm trying to meet new people." You should figure out maybe 4 or 5 standard opening lines for each one and just do them. I try to do it with varying success. Sometimes, I'm just full of energy and it's easy. Sometimes, it's incredibly difficult, but I'm slowly working to the point where it's getting easier.
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What exactly is a "young professionals" group and what do they do?
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Well, in my city, they are groups of people (usually) in their 20s and 30s that do things with a common interest. For example, there is a group that volunteers at major events to improve the city and also has happy hours. Another group is entirely social and exists only to attract young people to the city. Another group supports a local organization that assists immigrants. Another group supports the art scene. There are the Young Democrats and the Young Republicans. There are dozens of these groups, and what they do varies dramatically between them.
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As for meetup.com, I've heard of it before and I've looked at it before, but it just doesn't seem like something I'd enjoy at all. Generally when I'm in a situation like that with people I don't know I just tend to clam up. I've noticed that I do SO MUCH better in social situations when I'm with at least one or two friends, because it gives me a boost of self-confidence and makes me feel more free to be myself.
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Go to these events alone. I think that would be the biggest thing to help you. You have to get over that fear. Your friends will not always be around when you want them to. You have to learn to be yourself around strangers. This Saturday, I'm going to a bar alone. I will buy one beer and nurse it the entire night and approach people. It's something I gotta learn how to do, and now is the perfect time since all of my friends are currently out of town for the holidays.
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One question I have is: do you genuinely like the people you've made friends with? That's one of my main fears...having to settle for friends/girlfriends I don't think particularly high of just because I have nothing better to do.
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Yes. My two Craigslist friends are some of the best people I've ever met. They are caring and intelligent and incredibly fun to be around. I met another girl on an online dating site as only platonic friends, and I have so much fun spending time with her. I have to admit, I did get one girl on Craigslist that had a little too much drama for my liking, but I managed to distance myself from her enough to insulate myself from most of it.