What effects have you considered this might have on your kids? I don't buy the "families need two parents" things, natural natural natural blah blah blah. But have you seen any psychological studies on how children handle the alternative lifestyle that polyamorous parents lead... and the consequences thereof? I do know kids are incredibly resilient. However, the outside world is not always so friendly. Steve's got a huge international audience. I'm just saying that it might be difficult to avoid hurting your kids in some ways during this process, if only because others are vibrating at a lower frequency... and as you've seen, this is not the kind of thing that stays quiet for long.
I'd also be careful making comparisons like was made earlier in this thread, that limiting yourself to one person is like limiting yourself to one career. This is where subjective reality starts being troublesome for a lot of people (like me, hah). If you can really treat a person you love like a career, the dehumanizing effects that can have on a person are not trivial, like switching careers can be. You are treading on some thin ice -- just remember that no matter how loving a partner is, or
because she is so loving -- she may feel incredibly hurt at some point. Slipping into a solipsist viewpoint in this case doesn't benefit everybody because it benefits you. Loving other people is a zero-sum game -- the more you give to others, the less your primary partner has. And when you start giving to others, there's a chance your primary partner will react poorly to that alternate allocation. There may be some value to your partner in their knowing that although you have more love to give, that you respect and love them enough to forego hurting them by spreading it around in a way that could be more shallow than what you share -- precisely because that withholding is a sign of love itself.
With all respect to Erin, of course. I don't know your feelings, Erin. I'm just recounting my own past experiences.
The best for the both of you, of course.