 This post moved me...
I completely understand the feelings that have caused this unrest in your life-situation. It's hard to explain that "it's not you, it's me..." and be credible (that phrase is used so much it's a cliche'). But my desire to explore intimacy with other men after being married for over 30 years really did have nothing to do with my husband. I was at a point in life that I had almost forgotten the excitement of getting to know someone else - and by extension, myself - in that romantic way. However, I neglected to understand that my husband didn't want to share me and the hurt that my exploration caused is still a dark shadow in our relationship. Would I have done anything differently? I don't know, but I did what I felt I had to do in order to live the heart-felt life I wanted to live. My husband and I are still together and my little "experiment" is over, but the other man still has a special place in my heart. I think when I get old (I mean, really old, not just 54 years old as I am now!) I will probably be glad to have those memories that still bring a little rush of excitement and a blush to my cheeks. I'm also glad my marriage survived this period of my life, though, and I hope you can also manage this next "experiment" as well as other areas of your life, Steve. Good Luck!~
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