[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

Doesn't sound like you need advice, you just need to vent to someone who's willing to listen without necessarily giving you advice. Listen empathically and compassionately. If you know someone like that, please go to them immediately. You don't even have to talk, you can just cry on their shoulder and if they're good, they'll let you until you're ready to talk.

I am blessed to have a few people that will fill this role for me in a heartbeat.

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

I can empathize with you. You're feeling betrayed and hurt. And you're still in control. You may not have the skill to handle all this right now, but you're still in control and you can make choices about how you're feeling about this and how you frame this to yourself.

One of the most amazing things to realize is that I am feeling very bad about this, but I'm ok. That's an advancement for me and I hope to figure out how I'll frame it and what I can do next with you fine people.

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

About what he can do to earn your trust again...well, that's something you'll have to decide now: either you trust him or you don't. There's no "proof" he can offer necessarily, except not doing something like that every single day. However, if you don't trust him, you'll always be asking, "he may not have done it yet, but what if he does it tomorrow?" and there will always be a tomorrow. So, you can choose to either trust him or you don't. You may get hurt again if you trust him, and you can handle it. I suggest you come back and read this later, when you've had a chance to share your emotions and, in a sense, let them go.

That's true. And I will read it again. But even now I know this is right and it's the main "problem" I am struggling with: "Can I (am I willing?) to choose to trust him and not make our lives a living hell?"

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

Whether you stay with him or not, and whether you have other relationships in the future, you've learned something, too. Set clear limits at the start of a relationship, and stick by them.

Good luck! I wish you well from the bottom of my heart. I've had a friend go through this sort of thing and its rough, and you're stronger for it when its over, either way, if you choose to be.

True, true.

Thank you.