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Old 12-22-2008, 10:27 PM   #12 (permalink)
jaamkie
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
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I guess I was responding to the tone, and to the complaint that his "blood begins to boil every time"- I don't think in that frame of mind he'd be much help, and that the anger itself is a bigger issue than his girlfriend's flaws. At least, someone getting upset with me when I'm already upset with myself tends to only make the situation about our relationship instead of about working on the original issue.

Maybe relationship styles are different though- I vastly prefer a relationship where I'm accepted and loved as I am, and supported in my own desires to improve myself, rather than judged and required to attain higher standards. My boyfriend and I are very similar- very independent, spontaneous, curious- and each of us taking responsibility for our own lives, and not trying to judge or control the other, is what makes the relationship so wonderful and freeing instead of stifling. I'm currently losing weight, and my boyfriend's wonderful contribution is a lot of considerate listening and refraining from interfering or judging or cheering for any particular outcome. Similarly, I'm vegan for ethical reasons, and, while of course I talk about it sometimes out of personal interest, I've never pushed it on him or asked him about it- but from what I've noticed him buying and eating, and from his occasional comments, he's gone vegan as well.
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