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Originally Posted by Scipio  I'll preface this by saying that I'm a 21 year old male. I think I'm great looking (although looks don't matter much to women), and have got a good head on my shoulders. The big factor is that I seem out of alignment with a lot of girls my age. |
Then don't date girls your age. There are plenty of older women out there who like "younger man energy". And looks do matter to women, don't kid yourself. Especially to older women. The guys who are landing attractive, successful older women are not the ones with a big beer gut who don't shower and who are wearing the same dirty shirt three days in a row. Our sexual chemistry becomes more masculine as we approach midlife (just as men's chemistry becomes more feminine later in life).
As for women your age - there's self selection going on. 21 year old women who are in the dating pool, are not on the professional track. They're either on the "party track", the "navel track" (what I call people who are off in a fantasy-oriented, dreamy or metaphysical headspace at 21) or the "mommy track". Most of the overachiever type women tend to put dating on the backburner.
That said, the 21 year old women who ARE really serious (and they DO exist - they marry men like themselves, of their own age or older), are being filtered out of your reality. So perhaps you are not as ready to meet them as you think they are.
I had an issue meeting serious people for all of my 20s. I did not realize I was filtering serious people out of my reality. In my 30s (and I'm now on the "career track", as a late starter) I was on a combination "navel track" and "party track" (there's some overlap in some bohemian circles).
Some people aren't really serious about relationships, they just don't want to get ___ed and dumped the next day. Plenty of people want a boyfriend or girlfriend but don't actually want a life commitment. I really like the "friends with benefits" terminology because it's far more precise language to describe what someone wants. If you're not meeting people who are relationship material, are you sure you're not manifesting that because it's not what YOU want?