Quote:
Originally Posted by RRR  I disagree that positive self talk is the correct path.
I am not always confident.
I am not always able to succeed.
I do not always love challenges.
I don't like to define myself in such ways.
My mind needs wiggle room. It needs options.
My model operates more smoothly like this:
Best option: Being genuinely confident.
Otherwise, the wiggle room.
I don't have to be confident. I prefer to be confident. If I am not confident, I can find ways to become confident.
This gives me the freedom from failure. If I say "I am confident", and I know deep down I am not, I fail at the task, or there are set backs I will use the negative energy from the inital self-betrayal of false confidence for self-attacking thoughts. If I give myself the wiggle room of preferences and options I tend to fare better.
I have no clear solutions to the second phrase. I think when you say you are able to accomplish something, if you fail, your ego might suffer a let down. I would say, I might be able to succeed at what I am going to do, I can make adjustments to make the most out of many situations, if I outright fail I'll learn something.
The third will follow a similar pattern.
For a while the way I saw a lot of pop psychology doing what I consider to be self-delusion actually lead me to thinking that being positive in itself was a crock. Its important to accept that you determine your outlook and opinions, but you don't determine the truth. |
Hi RRR,
Different people have different views and I am always open to new opinions. For example, if I am going to give a speech and I say "I am confident" before my presentation, it do help me because I know I am prepared and ready but just before the presentation I am getting the butterflies in my stomach and thinking of what will happen if I screw up.
In this situation, using positive affirmation will definitely help me gain some confidence that is necessary for me to pull it through.
I do get what you are saying and I think what we are saying are similar and it may be because of my way of presenting that makes it different from what you are saying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David365 Vincent
Thanks for starting this thread. Whilst I agree with the principle of positive self talk, RRR does bring in an important point with the use of language. By making emphatic, black and white statements you end up falling into the same unhelpful thinking patterns as using "never" or "always"
To build self esteem with positive statements, or positive affirmations, I use things that are not variable. For example:-
"I have a wonderful family
We live in a fantastic house in a great location"
This reminds me of what is good about my life.
As a variation on keeping a journal, at the end of each day write down three (or more) things you are pleased about that you have done that day. You can change the word “pleased” to proud of, happy about, or whatever suits you. But ensure it enables you to come up with this short list of positives.
It comes back to getting into good habits that suit you. |
Hey David,
I like the idea of keeping a journal and jotting down about the things that we are happy about. Showing gratitude definitely help us to be more positive
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger