Telling her that you are considering breaking up is a good thing. It gives her a chance to change her behavior in order to salvage the relationship.
The behavior that needs to change is her not standing up to her mom. Unless her mom can legally kill her daughter for back talk there should be no reason she should put up with her mom.
She's letting another person disrespect the person she loves and lets her mom control her actions. For me, that's grounds to break up with a girl (seems like you are leaning towards that).
Her not standing up to her mom is partially her fault and yours (unless you never voiced your issues with it before). You should have told her that you won't be in a relationship with someone who lets a parent call the shots and disrespect you. I would have given her a choice: stand up to your mom and respect our relationship or we will part ways
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