View Single Post
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2008, 12:34 PM
RRR RRR is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: San Rafael, California
Posts: 451
RRR is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to RRR
Default

I disagree that positive self talk is the correct path.

I am not always confident.
I am not always able to succeed.
I do not always love challenges.

I don't like to define myself in such ways.
My mind needs wiggle room. It needs options.

My model operates more smoothly like this:

Best option: Being genuinely confident.

Otherwise, the wiggle room.

I don't have to be confident. I prefer to be confident. If I am not confident, I can find ways to become confident.

This gives me the freedom from failure. If I say "I am confident", and I know deep down I am not, I fail at the task, or there are set backs I will use the negative energy from the inital self-betrayal of false confidence for self-attacking thoughts. If I give myself the wiggle room of preferences and options I tend to fare better.

I have no clear solutions to the second phrase. I think when you say you are able to accomplish something, if you fail, your ego might suffer a let down. I would say, I might be able to succeed at what I am going to do, I can make adjustments to make the most out of many situations, if I outright fail I'll learn something.

The third will follow a similar pattern.

For a while the way I saw a lot of pop psychology doing what I consider to be self-delusion actually lead me to thinking that being positive in itself was a crock. Its important to accept that you determine your outlook and opinions, but you don't determine the truth.
Reply With Quote