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Old 12-19-2008, 11:14 AM   #21 (permalink)
Brutha
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Berlin, Germany
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That's pretty sad... Actually the books I read gave a different impression. Is there really really really no way to build on/"reframe" negative emotions into good ones and thereby circumvent all the "traditional" relationship norms?
Things like that are nothing that you can learn in a few days or weeks.

In addition you have a big problem with strategy. You want to use an NLP like approach and at the same time care about whether misunderstanding or something other have ended the relationship.
One of the keys of NLP is to see everything as feedback and take responsibility for the results that you are producing.
I don't think that NLP is the only possible way to achieve results, but when you want to succeed in applying it you have to act accordingly.

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If she still likes the other guy after sincerely accepting what I told her and believing it, then I can have peace in my mind.
No, whether you have peace in your mind is all about yourself and you are entirely responsible for having peace with yourself.
That the area where you should use NLP if you want to use it. You won't have success with using NLP techniques on other people if you don't have that mental peace, since you will have emotions and body language that make you look fake and not honest.

You can't consciously control 100+ muscles in your body to get the "right" body language without feeling the emotions that naturally trigger that body language.
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