I made a decision, and I realised I unconsciously chose it while ago already simply by letting him in my life.
I will indeed accept his help. I think both of us have to learn from each other, regardless of our different material situations. It's not because he has much more wealth than I do that I have nothing to offer to him, it's simply not on the same level. Now I said I felt I was afraid he might want to control my life, and that's why I was not so sure to like him that much. I realized (though this thread, thanks to you all) that actually this was a feeling of my own, created by my fear of really opening up to someone and accepting their lessons. I was being very defensive and paranoid with him, because I was afraid to let him in and to trust him. This guy has something to teach me, so I need to get over my ego in order to learn.
His presence in my life has already made a big difference. I noticed I see things more positively and laugh with a better heart. Seriously, my laughter changed, it's fuller now, I feel like my whole body laughs along
I was not only afraid of the things he wanted to offer me, but also what he wanted to receive, which in both cases is love, truth and trust. You can guess that not only my financial situation went pretty bad this year, also my ability to love and be true. Which makes sense as both finances and love are closely linked
Him in my life is making me a better person, happier, more responsible and with more love and patience to send out.
I take the decision to overcome my ego and let truth and love be part of my life. I accept I need help. For the financial part, when I can genuinely provide for myself again I'll be more than glad to do it.
About me being "that kind of girl" well, I believe it's probably somehow true, that's why I need help (mostly love, I mean). I personnaly believe the seriousness of a relationship is not determine by its official status or its lenght, but by what you learn from it, how deeply it takes you in.
So I'm taking and learning both. The money to put food in my refrigerator and the love to become a better person. Then I'll keep on making him laugh
By the way, believe it or not; his name sounds exactly like Smile and translates into Wealthy.