Thanks all for the great replies. It's an interesting subject because it seems like there are some many different opinions. Some would say it shouldn't matter at all. However, I think that's hard for me to rationalize. Weight gain is almost always a sign of something else that's wrong and/or poor physical habits. If an SO isn't concerned about either of those then I would argue that they love the other person less rather than more. Weight gain also has very severe consequences health wise as one gets older. If you truly love your SO you should want to live a long, healthy life together.
There's obviously a fine line here between what might be a temporary fluctuation based on life events vs. a more significant trend and it's hard to know. The same analogy could be drawn in other areas of life. If your SO decided to smoke pot one weekend most of us would probably forgive them. However, if they were doing cocaine on a habitual basis that would be more difficult to accept. Most people would entirely understand if you left someone for repeated drug use but at the same time many people would think you're a very bad person if you left a significant other who gorged themselves on food and ended up 100 lbs overweight (not my situation at all of course). And yet I'm having a hard time seeing how one is much worse than the other (society may be currently way more accepting of one than the other of course but that is not what I am concerned with).
I guess the big question is how to approach the issue in a non-judgmental way and with love. Eating is emotional for all of us which is why so many people become irritated when it is brought up as an area of possible improvement. How do you indicate to someone that you're bringing up something because you care about them and their health rather than for purely selfish reasons of wanting a slim SO? And how do you know when the right time is to bring something up at all?
Those are the questions that seem hardest and seem mostly like judgment calls as best I can gather...
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