frntk, you cannot help her. She must help herself. You cannot save her. You cannot save some one who doesn't realize they are drowning. And you cannot save a drowning person who is screaming and kicking and dragging you down with her into the water.
Are you willing to commit to saving her, even if she refuses to save herself? This is not a situation I would ever put myself in again, as I have done so before, to my almost ultimate ruin. I almost ruined my life, and I didn't help him either, and he is still miserable to this day.
I'm not saying you cannot help her or support her. I'm just saying that for me in my situation, it was go to hell with him and risk burning, or letting go. Because he was determined to stay in hell. I'm glad I let go.
Some times, you just have to accept people as they are and as they are not. If they will not save themselves, there is nothing you can do.
That said, you can still be her friend, just not her boyfriend, and still support her and help her.
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