Your relationship with other people, be they your husband or whoever, will only ever be as good as your relationship with yourself. Whether you're aware of it or not, your happiness and peace of mind doesn't ever lie in the hands of another human being. You can be happy without your husband, in fact you need to find that feeling place of joy and content within you, before you'll see it reflected in your husband or someone else.
You have made great changes in your life and started to look out for yourself.Whether you're bipolar or missing a leg or whatever, nothing in this world can keep you from experiencing f.e. in this instance the joyful relationship you seek but your very own beliefs within.
You husband isn't punishing you, you are punishing yourself, and he is just reflecting your own assessment of the situation and your own attitude towards it. He hasn't left you yet, cause you believe in your heart that there's still hope for this particular relationship and you have done all you did to fuel that hope.
If you can find that feeling and assurance within you that you're a wonderful person and a joy to live with, that you do your very best every minute, that you're worthy to be forgiven whatever you may have done wrong, and that really no one is without blame, then this is what you'll see reflected in the attitude towards you. And to feel and think like this would only be returning to your innate knowing of your own worthiness, it would be re-discovering your own true self.
It is not the relationship with your hubby you need to work on, it is the relationship with yourself. You are the centerpoint of your own existence, you were there before your husband was around and you will be there were your husband gone. It is within you that all the love, the joy and the peace you could ever find on earth rest, and once you find them inside, and feel great about yourself, really love yourself, you'll see that love, joy, and peace reflected to you in all experiences you encounter.
|