She just doesn't understand, it's not her fault. Would a younger version of you understand you? You'll never be able to justify yourself to all the people that think you're crazy, and it is a waste of your energy to try. Stop trying to look for an acceptable "why" to your development, because you don't really care why, do you? You're looking for one just to satisfy the folks that don't get it, but deep down you know that whatever answer you give them won't be the truth. This is who you are, this is the way you're going to be, and there is nothing you or your wife or anybody else can do about it. Accept that you have no "good" reason for what you're doing, and no justification. It will make you naked to criticism, but it will also help free you from doubt. There is nothing you can do to make your wife understand; she either does or she doesn't. But if you're free of her judgment either way, maybe she'll see something in you and decide that you were right instead of crazy.
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