The couch potato method.
Eat a diet of nothing but junk food. Potatochips, dip, cheese puffies, snackerdoodles, deep fried pizza
and lots of soda pop. Make no effort to eat anything remotely healthy.
Exercise as little as possible. Attempt to move as little as possible, considering peeing in a bucket or moving in with a very supportive person. Yell BAFFROOM
! and be delivered a bucket. Also have your food delivered as often as possible. If cooking is required, use a microwave, and sit in a chair while doing it. Buy a motorized chair for movement.
Within 1-3 weeks you will start to feel very very ill. Make a mental note of how this feels and consider changing your lifestyle. Take anti-fasts, eating only junk and not moving, as necessary throughout the lifestyle change to remember how awful you feel when you live this way. Make a mental note of how much weight you gained and how horrible you felt eating certain foods and sitting too much. This will give you an accurate benchmark to feel when you reach for your next bag of cheesy poofs, powdered donut pancake surprise.
, or Luther Burger