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lostandsad · 12-17-2008, 01:41 AM

Ok, I will explain this the best way I can. I will try to give as much info as I can. My husband and I have been married for 10 months. I struggle with bipolar disorder and I have lost my temper before in the two years of our relationship, by this I mean that I have threatened to leave him (this was an empty threat, I think I mean it at the time but after I cool off I am very remorseful).
We hit a point where I made the same threat. This time he did not forgive me. We have been sleeping in different beds for 2 and a half weeks, and he has been saying awful hurtful things to me. He has been touching on subjects that I am very sensitive about. He leaves and doesnt tell me where he is going, and he comes home late from work.
We both come from the same backround. Alchoholic father who ended up leaving. He is 29, this is his second mariage, I am 23 and this is my first, and hopfully last.
It finally hit me that I needed to get some serious help, so I started going to church, I got a job, got into counseling, and will start new meds on monday.
I have been still taking care of him as far as doing the chores around the house, and making sure his uniform isnt wrinkly, and folding his laundry, and getting groceries. I try to talk to him nightly , just talk, not argue, or debate.
He doesn't outwardly say that he wants a divorce, but he says he doesn't feel the same way about me. He doesnt like me.
I have lost 15 lbs in two weeks...I cannot eat...I have a hard time getting water and crackers down...I am a mess at night, I miss him, and I miss us...
My mother looked him up on "myspace" and he had his "status" posted as single, and not married.
He had the oppurtunity to stay in the "dorms" on base for a little bit while things cooled down, but he decided not to. I have told him that I was NOT going anywhere, for the sake of our marriage.
I desperatly want to work this out, I am genuinly sorry for what I put him through....I didn't realize how bad it had gotten...wasn't our vow through sickness and in health?
Not to say that he hasn't also made mistakes....I just remember how it was dealing with two family members of mine have bipolar disorder, and how hard it was sometimes. This is why I feel so guilty.
He wont even eat dinner with me, nor the food I make him, I gave him the master bedroom because he said he needed space (which is warmer than the rest of the house) and I asked if I could sleep in there with him, and he said "I prefer not".
He has said that he feels broken and numb....
He now wants to spend christmas seperatly, I am tore up about this and so is our families....
I guess what I am asking is if anyone thinks there is hope left, or if I am just too late coming around to getting help. Do men rebound form this and love their wives again??

12-17-2008, 01:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
lostandsad Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 2	I'm so confused.... Ok, I will explain this the best way I can. I will try to give as much info as I can. My husband and I have been married for 10 months. I struggle with bipolar disorder and I have lost my temper before in the two years of our relationship, by this I mean that I have threatened to leave him (this was an empty threat, I think I mean it at the time but after I cool off I am very remorseful). We hit a point where I made the same threat. This time he did not forgive me. We have been sleeping in different beds for 2 and a half weeks, and he has been saying awful hurtful things to me. He has been touching on subjects that I am very sensitive about. He leaves and doesnt tell me where he is going, and he comes home late from work. We both come from the same backround. Alchoholic father who ended up leaving. He is 29, this is his second mariage, I am 23 and this is my first, and hopfully last. It finally hit me that I needed to get some serious help, so I started going to church, I got a job, got into counseling, and will start new meds on monday. I have been still taking care of him as far as doing the chores around the house, and making sure his uniform isnt wrinkly, and folding his laundry, and getting groceries. I try to talk to him nightly , just talk, not argue, or debate. He doesn't outwardly say that he wants a divorce, but he says he doesn't feel the same way about me. He doesnt like me. I have lost 15 lbs in two weeks...I cannot eat...I have a hard time getting water and crackers down...I am a mess at night, I miss him, and I miss us... My mother looked him up on "myspace" and he had his "status" posted as single, and not married. He had the oppurtunity to stay in the "dorms" on base for a little bit while things cooled down, but he decided not to. I have told him that I was NOT going anywhere, for the sake of our marriage. I desperatly want to work this out, I am genuinly sorry for what I put him through....I didn't realize how bad it had gotten...wasn't our vow through sickness and in health? Not to say that he hasn't also made mistakes....I just remember how it was dealing with two family members of mine have bipolar disorder, and how hard it was sometimes. This is why I feel so guilty. He wont even eat dinner with me, nor the food I make him, I gave him the master bedroom because he said he needed space (which is warmer than the rest of the house) and I asked if I could sleep in there with him, and he said "I prefer not". He has said that he feels broken and numb.... He now wants to spend christmas seperatly, I am tore up about this and so is our families.... I guess what I am asking is if anyone thinks there is hope left, or if I am just too late coming around to getting help. Do men rebound form this and love their wives again??