Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How to re-ignite romance after a break up/being dumped?

TektonikShift · 12-16-2008, 02:50 PM

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I hope I am not too quick to jump to wrong conclusions if I say that my optimism on this subject is not shared, especially with 0 (zero) replies after 92 views.

Seems to be a quite difficult issue then.

In case it helps or could trigger further discussion or ideas, let me depict my problem more specifically:
The reasons for our break up were communication problems. She didn't tell me until the end that she was finding it annoying that I am always "mysterious". On one day, I was somehow in a bad mood and was very distracted, even when talking to her, even when we were about to make love... I was totally somewhere else in my thoughts. She misunderstood my extreme distraction/out-of-mindedness as something I did on purpose to annoy her...
Ever since, she strictly believes that I am "like that, and I can't do anything about it". She insists that I cannot change, so I don't even know whether by changing I can achieve a positive outcome...
It seems that whatever I try to say she resists and thinks that "things simply cannot work between us".

How could I try to work on that kind of mindset she is enduring?

Basically I am asking... how can I behave in a way so that she changes her negative impressions about me?

12-16-2008, 02:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
TektonikShift Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 42	... ... ... I hope I am not too quick to jump to wrong conclusions if I say that my optimism on this subject is not shared, especially with 0 (zero) replies after 92 views. Seems to be a quite difficult issue then. In case it helps or could trigger further discussion or ideas, let me depict my problem more specifically: The reasons for our break up were communication problems. She didn't tell me until the end that she was finding it annoying that I am always "mysterious". On one day, I was somehow in a bad mood and was very distracted, even when talking to her, even when we were about to make love... I was totally somewhere else in my thoughts. She misunderstood my extreme distraction/out-of-mindedness as something I did on purpose to annoy her... Ever since, she strictly believes that I am "like that, and I can't do anything about it". She insists that I cannot change, so I don't even know whether by changing I can achieve a positive outcome... It seems that whatever I try to say she resists and thinks that "things simply cannot work between us". How could I try to work on that kind of mindset she is enduring? Basically I am asking... how can I behave in a way so that she changes her negative impressions about me? Last edited by TektonikShift; 12-16-2008 at 04:19 PM.