hm very interesting question
its very subjective like more appropriate wud be to say- expecting the other person to behave the way
you would have behaved given the circumstances.
very good thanks for starting this.
we always kinda expect the other person to act acc.to our own standards of behavior our dos and donts our shuds and shudnts.
and when they dont we say..
you betrayed me.
more appropriate wud be-
you betrayed the way i thought you to be
(Steliana you have taken a crowbar and are presently creaking my brain open with this question
)
i thought you were like me because its my belief that my reactions actions and beliefs are the only way to be
which ofcourse is not true
you are you. your beliefs actions reactions have a different blue print than mine.we have different influences.different recordings.just cos you behave differently does not mean you are wrong even tho i judge you to be wrong. i cannot trust you
hmm.
wud it be that
now that i know we don share the same standards of behavior and thought you are unpredictable to me i dont know what you will do next that is an unknown for me and i hate unknowns you refuse to imbibe my truths therefore i will be hurt again because 'you' are being 'you' and choose to be 'you' and flatly refuse to be 'me'
(okay some heavy emotional arm twisting going on here)
Giving another chance
wud construe as
ok ill give you another chance to become like me which is the 'correct' way (you doofus dont you know that!!)
the phrase 'i trust you' is sacrosanct veeeerrry personal and is only applicable between people who share the same core values have made the effort to openly communicate their inner unspoken expectations,um their boundaries in which case even if they differ the other knows what NOT to mess with if they are to carry on the relationship.so..the rules are laid out if this sounds very robotic look back and remember when you were let down and the indignation you felt.
well trust is not all that sacrosanct then if you go wider in your thoughts huh?
i forgive you
wud well be saying
woah where did that come from?!! it seems youre not like me after all ooookay hmm fine you be you and i be me we both will keep each other posted on our respective boundaries i love you anyways and lets not impose each others values on one another but the former relationship we shared is changed i can no longer identify with you because you just zapped me with how different you are from me
at this point the relationship might become a more open understanding one or just simply end