If you are "struggling" you are really lying to yourself. You have created a false identity for yourself that wants to lose weight when in reality it is just you that wants to stay fat.
From what I've read you want some emotional backup. You want people to pity you and make you feel better. You want to feel good. You give a ************ about being thin. You want to feel good, quickly and effortlesly. You eat because it gives you pleasure. You wouldn't give that up for anything. It feels so ************en good. You want to struggle with losing weight, you want to show people how much effort you put into it. You want people to say: "She's fat but she's really trying, she just can't do a lot about it because that's the way she is built". You don't want to be thin and attractive, you want to feel good about your sister giving you attention when you cry about the bad doctor. You want to cry and it makes you feel good when people notice...
When you REALLY WANT to lose weight, you'll just KNOW IT. There will be just a snap decision made - "This is it I will no longer be fat" and you'll do whatever it costs to stay thin. You will no longer value the pleasure of food and self-pity. There will no longer be struggle.
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