I recently read a pretty good way in Crucial Conversations. Great book, in general. Check it out.
The gist of the way is, don't start out iwth the blunt question, but share your facts, first, then your story and then your emotions. They can disagree with teh facts and/or the story. That is, don't start with your conclusion, start with the facts, eg. I noticed there's a hotel bill on your credit card from a hotel very close by. Or somin.
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