(btw about the girl.. my money would be on that she's now trying to preserve her dignity by not being too eager about you since you were the one unavailable two times so far. I could be wrong but usually when I see this situation it is fixed if the person in your situation just shows a bit extra interest than he'd normally do.)
ok, now that i got that bracket out of my system, I can move on to the thoughts. see, the good thing is that you catch it from the start. that's usually the most difficult part for me. what I do is, when I catch it, I say to myself 'no. f*** you, voice. F*** you with a capital f.' (I'm more efficient with dealing with it when I curse and perceive the voice as something to stand up to and defeat, not as this flaw of mine)
I then go on and counter whatever was the negative thought with an opposite positive thought or a positive thought that's adressing the root of the negative one. it doesn't take straight away, it feels ridiculous at first. the key is to chant it in my head like a mantra. the voice usually gets alarmed by that and changes its approach and starts with all the buts, except I blitzkrieg it before it finishes the sentence. ha. no buts.
so basically, I give the voice a stern talking to. and chant positive thoughts in my head consistently, consciously, deliberately and stubbornly until they're the only ones filling my head.
I don't know if this is the sanest approach to this, but it works for me most of the time lately..though I'm a particularly stubborn and messed up girl, you as someone saner might want a more sane approach than going to war. just trying to help.
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