[legend]

If I may ask how old are you guys?
how long have you been living together?
Has he ever lived by himself?
Has he ever had to be 100% responsible for paying bills, cleaning house, making food?

It might be he depends on you because he never had to do it all by himself....
Rant On:
I think you two should live apart and let him become self reliant before joining as one.
If you plan on marriage I would be surprised if it ever happens living together....
If you see yourself spending the rest of your time here in this life with him I recommend marriage... Once you decide to be one everything becomes one....
One bank account.. One set of responsibilities that is shared... One vision on how to live (ie. where to live, how to spend money, kids, etc)

Rant Off:

These feelings you are having are signals telling you that you are not happy with your life the way it currently is.... This is a gift for you to look inside and make the needed changes not blame him.... He probably doesn't know any better
BE STRONG

Why do men clam up?
1. When we feel we are being spoken at instead of too. We feel like it's not a conversation and our feelings are not being validated or understood by you
2. Our logic is overcome by emotion usually anger and we don't know how to express rational thought
3. We are wrong... This can make us feel like less of a man
4. We are embarresed... this goes hand in hand with wrong but add the feeling we let you down
5. We think the conversation will lead to a fight
6. The situation is to personal... That is why you first need him to feel what you are feeling but not have those feelings connected to you

The way around this is to ask questions that have feelings attached....
Show him how to empathize with you. For example by asking him questions find a situation that would make him feel the way you are feeling.
Like.... Honey when you are waiting for a friend or coworker to do something they are responsible for and they let you down how does that make you feel? then just listen the next step is very important... repeat back to him what you just understood him to say..
Ohhh I see when they let you down you feel upset, angry, confused, stressed whatever his response is. Once he agrees that you fully understand then tie to your feelings...
Can't you see how I feel that way when you do______ You are my best friend and closest family....

Now he really understands how you feel and you can work on having an open talk to resolve issues

Much Love and Good Luck