The big question I would ask dominick is:
Do you love your wife any less because of extra wieght, even it if was 50 more pounds?
From reading what you said, I would say no. I can imagine concern, worry and apprehension, but you'd still love and her and care for her. Just the fact that you don't want to hurt her feelings while broaching the subject shows that.
If you think you might love her less if she changed weight, then there's some serious self evaluation required immediately. It's time to get grounded into why you are in the relationship in the first place.
I think the basis of the issue is wanting her to be healthy, but also being scared how you'd look in her eyes if you brought it up. Combine that with your concerns over the matter, and her own right to do what she wants, I can see how it could quickly become a mess.
I'd say, first find out how she's feeling about her weight. She could be worried herself and wants you to connect with her so you can overcome the new problem together. Perhaps she's enjoying it, something different and new for a change. Or even that she's enjoying the freedom from eating exactly right, or exercising as hard as normal. First you have to know where you stand on the whole matter, how she feels about it and what's going on for her, before you can do anything at all. In fact, this is all about her, and what she wants out of it.
So: Can you connect with her to find out what space she's in, and then support her in whatever she wants to do?
This doesn't mean repress yourself either. You can still express your concerns and wishes, but with more connection you can express yourself far better and with much greater consideration. Perhaps this is just an opportunity in disguise: to find out more about and get closer to the person you love.
