Hi Mattsea,
My husband I an recently went to marriage counselling (there's a thread on it here somewhere). We went with a view that we would either make our relationship work or find a way to split up amicably.
I think the fact that we were open to the outcome meant that we were able to make a greater committment to each other.
I found the actual session of marriage counselling very stressful. But I'm so glad we went. It helped us put our problems into perspective and commit to finding a way through.
I used to feel guilty about not loving my husband 'enough'. I used to run around trying to make him happy but going at it all wrong. Because he can be quite hot-headed I often felt unsupported, whereas now I realise that he supports me totally and wants me to be happy. We are still very different people but we appreciate each other's good points more and work together to support each other where we need help.
If your wife is suggesting counselling, then go! Use it as an opportunity to understand each other better. Sometimes hearing your complaints voiced out loud helps them lose their power. They seem trivial once spoken. Others, you realise are more critical and you find that your partner's perspective is totally different to your own and you then find how to make those two viewpoints work.
You are definitely right to sort this out before bringing children into the relationship. Wishing you the best of luck
