If you're good at knowing where things are, and he doesn't see something that's right in front of him, why wouldn't you just tell him where his things are?
I am very much that way - and I'm a woman! - I can be looking for something and just.not.see.it. It's gotten better as an adult, but as a kid, I felt so frustrated and disliked when people would expect me to find X: It's yours! It's your responsibility! It was not an ability I had. Forcing me to blindly look didn't help me find things any easier, it just made me feel uncared-for! The only thing I "learned" by doing that was that someone who could help me, wouldn't.
We all have different strengths and abilities.
I understand better about the laundry - does your caring for him in that way not get reciprocated anywhere in the relationship? I'm not talking about some other cleaning thing, necessarily. Does he bring enough value to the relationship for you to lovingly take that on? (It doesn't sound like it.)
I would ask him to schedule a time to talk, with no distractions.
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