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Originally Posted by MukulVerma  Very interesting conversation.........
By not picking up the phone, you are not doing yourself, your friend or your relationship any favors in the bigger picture. To be free, happy and who you are truly wanna be, I believe you have to be happy with yourself and all your decisons. I always pick up the phone, if I did not like in your case, I would question my action, becuase something must be wrong (like you did to start this excellent thread). If I did not want to talk, I would pick up the phone and be straight forward with them, yes you hear comments, pear pressure all that good stuff, it is call so what. Over time you will have your real friends stick with you and build strong relationships and you will weed out the materialistic ones. This makes YOU stronger.
I will give you an examples of my expereinces....
First, I use to go out to the clubs/bars 4-5 times a week, then I started finding it pointless, over time I started going twice, then once, then once a month and less and less. First, I realized when I went, I did not miss anything, second my friends stopped calling me to invite me, they respected that I said no and knew I would call when I wanted to come out, however they are still my good friends today. Yes, you need to have the discipline to say no when a little pear pressure given or they make fun of you, but you have to do what you believe is right to benefit you.
FYI - they realized and stopped a few years later and becuase I spent that time running a internet business, I am now financially, maturity and mentally ahead. |
I do respect where you're coming from but I think you're confusing two very different situations.
Situation A
I do not pickup the phone because I feel I will be peer pressured into doing something I don't want to do. Or I just don't feel like talking to this person.
Situation B
I do not pickup the phone because I'm dedicating my time to people who are in front of me right now and I show them respect by providing them my undivided attention since the plan was to enjoy time with THEM at this moment.
Other similarities might be that you are busy working, or doing other things and the phone isn't priority right now. So you let the people calling leave a voice mail if it's really important to get ahold of you, and you call them back at a more approriate time. If they didn't leave a voice mail, whatever they were calling about was not important enough anyways so it doesn't matter if you picked up then or not.
I think you really should distinguesh those two. I agree with you that if you avoid picking up the phone due to Situation A, that you should be upfront with people instead of saying white lies and hiding behind them. At one point or another, the truth will come out, your values will look weak at that point and people might even think that they're just excuses anyways.
I see nothing wrong with Situation B, I actually thing that's proper etiquette and shows respect to both parties: you are giving all your attention to the person you're with; you'll be able to give more time and energy to the person on the phone when you can actually call them back AND the next time you're with them in person, they will receive the same treatment of your undivided attention.