Help!
I'm at a loss... every morning I wake up to him angrily rummaging through clothes in our room for something to wear to work.
This makes me feel anxious, guilty and responsible.. but I dont
want to feel responsible... BUT I dont
want to take responsibility for my fiancee's clothes..
Fair call that I seperate these tasks into MINE and HIS... but I would resent doing his washing.. thats why I dont bother to do it, and why I seperate these things.. but I resent the fact that I "believe" that something inside him expects that I will do it. I'm diggin my heels in on this one.. I'm not friggin doin it!
I've also realised that there are a bunch of other things that he expects me to do..
I couldnt tell you how many times in a week I have heard "Hey babe.. wheres
my keys or
wallet etc.." I used to say I dont know.. wait 10 seconds and then go and find it.. because he just cant see what is right in front of his face... and what might take him an hour to find, I could find in a minute. I've stopped doing this, and replaced that with the response with "are you asking me to look for it?" which I dont think he really knows what to make of this response..
so as I said before.. it's a multitude of those kinds of issues.. which to me boil down to ONE massive communication problem.
I tend to bottle things up these days (I used to be a nag nag nag... but nags fall on deaf ears) to the point where I cant take it anymore and blow up about one particular thing.. it then appears that I'm getting upset about some tiny stupid thing..
I just want to get to a point where we can actually raise an issue or topic, discuss it and then put it to rest.
I get frustrated that often when I attempt to talk about things.. he's not in a "receiving" mode.. e.g last night I made a comment that I dont think he is engaged when we are in a conversation.. particularly I wanted to talk to him about these forums and some insights have come to me as a result.. but he was on the computer.. and said he was "listening".. but I'm not sure he was actually "engaged" in the conversation.. I actually felt like I was talking at him and he really didnt understand
or want to hear what I had to say..
I've thought about emailing him a link to this thread to show the feedback from people on here.. but I'm not sure if that will compound my problem...
he really is a wonderful guy, but a non-communicator... and I dont know how much more of this I can take.. it's affecting my ability to grow in the areas I wish to because I really want to share my experiences with him.. my soulmate.
Sorry for the long post..