You're not trying to change who she is; she's evaluating the relationship and offering to make changes in herself in the best interests of the partnership that she has committed herself to, in good faith.
It sounds to me like although you think YOU are the "half-full" partner, in fact SHE is -- her response to your shocking revelation (that you had made a commitment but in fact are not committed) was to immediately take responsibility and look for solutions. In the meanwhile, you are focused on your worry and your dealbreakers.
She has shown herself to be generous and loving, and now you have the opportunity to do the same: either honor your commitment with integrity and work with her to build a loving, mutually beneficial marriage, whatever it takes, or let her go with love so that she can find someone who is willing to be in the kind of marriage she wants, and you can be in the kind that you want.
It is NOT an act of generosity or love to maintain your marriage in a state of limbo, committed but not committed, and the longer you wait to act, the more pain is in store for both of you. Choose.
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