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Cyllya · 12-08-2008, 08:24 PM

Hmm... I think some general guidelines might be:

1. Try to encourage principles rather than rules. The difference between the two is that principles are enforced only by yourself. This will help make it so that they are well-behaved within reason but don't follow stupid pointless rules.

2. Don't lie, especially about things you expect the child to learn the truth of later. Instead of trying to convince them that there's some weird old man spying on them 24/7 to know how many elven-slave-created toys they'll be paid at the end of the year, teach them about the actual real-life Saint Nicolas. Or teach them the legends as well, but don't try to convince them that the legends are reality. Magic and fantasy do not need to involve deceit.

3. Don't say things like "Because I said so" or "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!" or hit the kid. Not only are they really disrespectful (unloving), but they encourage blind obedience (no power) in the kid. However, I think there are some times where you might not be able to resist doing one of these, especially the first one. Later, when things have calmed down, admit your mistake to the kid and apologize. This is more loving, more truthful (instead of pretending you're perfect), and gives you a chance to educate the kid on what caused you to be so upset so he can behave better.

4. Home school; the kid will get a better education anyway. Don't send him to school unless it's a free school or something. Public schools and many private schools are great for turning someone into a nice, obedient little worker bee. If you really must send your child to public school, don't act like the school and its staff are some almighty god that must be obeyed at all times. Tell him if a teacher tries to forbid him from going to the restroom, there's nothing keeping him from walking out the classroom door and going anyway. If he starts handling his junior high homework like Steve handled his college homework and it's working out well for him, don't feel compelled to stop him even if his teachers complain. (Later on, no one will care about his junior high grades anyway.) Tell him that if one of his peers tries to physically attack him, he can defend himself with force if necessary. That means he'll get suspended, but school is not that important. He's not going to become some jobless loser by going without for a couple days.

I think if you're good at aligning with Truth, Love, and Power in general, you'd do fine with them in regards to parenting.

12-08-2008, 08:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
Cyllya Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 78	Hmm... I think some general guidelines might be: 1. Try to encourage principles rather than rules. The difference between the two is that principles are enforced only by yourself. This will help make it so that they are well-behaved within reason but don't follow stupid pointless rules. 2. Don't lie, especially about things you expect the child to learn the truth of later. Instead of trying to convince them that there's some weird old man spying on them 24/7 to know how many elven-slave-created toys they'll be paid at the end of the year, teach them about the actual real-life Saint Nicolas. Or teach them the legends as well, but don't try to convince them that the legends are reality. Magic and fantasy do not need to involve deceit. 3. Don't say things like "Because I said so" or "Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!" or hit the kid. Not only are they really disrespectful (unloving), but they encourage blind obedience (no power) in the kid. However, I think there are some times where you might not be able to resist doing one of these, especially the first one. Later, when things have calmed down, admit your mistake to the kid and apologize. This is more loving, more truthful (instead of pretending you're perfect), and gives you a chance to educate the kid on what caused you to be so upset so he can behave better. 4. Home school; the kid will get a better education anyway. Don't send him to school unless it's a free school or something. Public schools and many private schools are great for turning someone into a nice, obedient little worker bee. If you really must send your child to public school, don't act like the school and its staff are some almighty god that must be obeyed at all times. Tell him if a teacher tries to forbid him from going to the restroom, there's nothing keeping him from walking out the classroom door and going anyway. If he starts handling his junior high homework like Steve handled his college homework and it's working out well for him, don't feel compelled to stop him even if his teachers complain. (Later on, no one will care about his junior high grades anyway.) Tell him that if one of his peers tries to physically attack him, he can defend himself with force if necessary. That means he'll get suspended, but school is not that important. He's not going to become some jobless loser by going without for a couple days. I think if you're good at aligning with Truth, Love, and Power in general, you'd do fine with them in regards to parenting.