[Rose of Cairo]

Hi Dominick,

Originally Posted by dominick

On the other hand, I try my best to eat very healthy and work out a lot and am in very good shape. I've always had an expectation that my partner would be the same way so when that's not the case it is frustrating.

In case this expectation was implicit and you never talked about it, then it's not valid. She doesn't owe you anything.

If I did something unhealthy like smoke I would expect to be called out on it.

Smoking or not smoking is your decision. Do you expect others to take responsibility for your health? Isn't that up to you?

I also think part of this is a genuinely unselfish desire for her to be as healthy as possible.

That's nice of you, but her health is her business and none of yours. Wanting things for others is unhealthy. It doesn't create a space of freedom for her to simply be who she is.

What is it really about? Her health, or having a plump looking girlfriend?

If you have a problem with having an overweight girlfriend, tell her in a straightforward way. Manipulative attempts to take her to a gym aren't aligned with honesty.

If you're judging her for her weight gain or finding her less attractive this way, it's better to tell her than to judge her and find her less attractive and hide it. She'd feel it anyway, and that's worse than speaking the Truth out. If you tell her, at least she'll be able to make a clear decision after that.