I have to reply to this since I wrote an article with the exact same title name on my blog.
Recommendations - It's too abstract. I get junk mail that sounds a bit like what you wrote. They're full of expressions that don't make contextual sense. Don't take this the wrong way though. Try making it into a flowing story. I don't see a red line anywhere. It's just a chunk of various thoughts.
What kind of an audience is this for?
What is it that you're trying to achieve with what you write? How do you solve the problem/challenge that you want people to react to? Write at least one practical example of how your insights can make a positive difference in other people's lives. The way it's now I just couldn't understand what your point is, what you want to achieve or what your conclusions were.
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