What I'm wondering is why does Rockchick always argue for what she doesn't want?
If you want to change some aspect of your life, the only way to do that is to go and discover exactly how to change it. Asking for advice is great, but it's a case of taking it, analysing it and using what resonates with you, or even more so, that which scares you.
If you have a reason why not to every example, then you are just creating reasons to stay still. That won't get you anywhere. You'll end up stuck even considering how much you've read and how much advie you've been given. It's simply because you've "reason"ed it all away and "excuse"d so much of it. It's fine if you like what you've got, but why argue for what you don't want.
You say that All the guys you know are shallow and are primarily interested in sex, and will argue that proof until the cows come home, but WHY? If you want to find guys that are not that, you have to release your view that most guys are like that. Otherwise you are just prooving yourself right.
As for music, some were self taught, but a majority had lessons of some kind. Even the ones that were self taught learnt the "rules" of music, but they did it by discover, not by being taught. Playing by ear is just the start of being a musician, being able to create new music from scratch requires you to know how music works. Even those that were never taught, just seemed to be naturals and can create music on their own follow the rules, they just don't know it. And breaking the rules? That's about using the rules in unique and different ways to create something new and different.
You don't have to follow the rules at all for romance, but they are still in play. You might discover someone you have been friends with and fall in love with each other after knowing them for years, yet the rules of social attraction and compatibility are still at work, you've just managed to use them without knowing.