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Originally Posted by Lauxa  Glad you liked it! 
A couple more points...
It is normal for guys to clam up and get defensive when you are confronting them with their failure to please you. My guy does that too. If you want him to open up, try telling him how wonderful he is.
On self-harm, it may not have been comfortable for you with him ignoring you when you did that behavior, but it was probably the best thing he could have done. Otherwise he would have been giving reinforcement to a bad behavior. You might even still be doing it. So thank him for that sometime.
BTW, DH and I will be at 10 years this March. |
oh... I do thank him often for sticking by me during such a dark time in my life..
I also had a good read back on my initial post.. and I was being a bit of a serial complainer..
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Originally Posted by carenkh I don't have any experience with this - except with teenagers - but something struck me from your post. It sounds like you are both very separate from one another. His laundry, my laundry, his bills, my bills... How much connection do you have? I have a feeling if you let some of the aggravations go, and focused on creating connection, things would flow between you better.
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Good pickup!!! I have never noticed that consciously.. but I understand I do verbally seperate things like chores and bills...
we are very much connected.. strong feelings of love and caring for each other, and funny things that happen a lot... he will say what I am thinking,.. and vice versa.. we enjoy each others interests and hobbies..
Basically I feel it's just a communication problem.
I do need to relax and chill out a bit more.
I'm going to digest this info and see how it affects my behavior this week and I will come back later in the week with an update..