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Originally Posted by cinnabar  This sounds more like a fear of success. Is the inner resistance saying that the struggle is just not worth it? that you... are not worth it? |
That's right, in part. The fight always seems to be between what's important to me, and a voice telling me that it's all f*#king worthless and there's no point to anything that I want. So the entire time that I'm striving for what I want, I have to fight to want it against this part of me that wants it to be worthless. I'm tired of fighting just to feel desire. By the end, I've lost the desire and have just been going on sheer will-power, so the win doesn't have any value to me anymore. I want to both want something and get it at the same time, but anything worthwhile takes so much energy that I can either fight to want it or fight to have it, but not fight for both.
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Originally Posted by Matt Willard Passion gets you started. Discipline keeps you going. |
I tried the whole discipline thing with good results, but if that's the only way to keep going then I'd rather not.