Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina  I've seen similar patterns in my own life. The short burst of willpower gives you a peak experience, but it takes time to raise your default to that level. Although the peak experience isn't sustainable right away, the benefit is that it helps you clarify where you want to go.
My first 30-day trial of the raw food diet was around 6 years ago. It was a peak experience to be sure (amazing happiness and mental clarity), but it took too much discipline to maintain it back then. However, that experience gave me a clear idea of a new level I eventually wanted to reach. Then the challenge was to figure out how to raise my default to that level. It took several years to lock in that new level and make it realistic and sustainable, but it sure was worth the effort. |
I recognize this pattern too. I was so shy that I was scared to death just to answer the telephone and at the same time I had this vison of me as a people-person, charming, kind and socially adept.
There is another factor though: one has to start small. All my approaches of women led me nowhere, and it is very demotivating to approach 20-30 women on a night and have maybe 1 decent conversation. I would go home totally messed up, burnt up, with headaches, literally shaking and having a fever from the intens fear that I pushed myself through time after time. It was only hard work and no fun at all. After a while I would rather have my teeth pulled than talk to a girl.
What I needed was self-confidence through validation from my own life, being more grounded, know who I am and what I want in a relationship and social skills trained in more safe environment like Toastmasters and clubs. Also I needed to make sure it was fun to train my social skills.