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ns123 · 12-05-2008, 09:15 PM

actually, when you only weigh 115 lbs putting on 5-10 pounds is a significant difference in looks. And if you weigh 120 lbs, gaining 5-10 pounds is even worse. I think so anyway. So I would have to agree with the OP.

If you weight 200 lbs, 5-10 is nothing. Not that I'm saying anyone is fat or whatever, I'm just letting the OP know that it's ok to dislike putting on 5-10 lbs.

I suspect your SO already feels bad about putting on the weight, she just won't say it to you or admit it out loud to herself. So instead of going, honey, you are looking a bit plump, you can plan fitness activities in which you both can enjoy together.

I know when I see my man putting on some pounds (and me) it's more helpful that I bring up my own weight gain. Such as: "honey, I'm not feeling 100% happy with my weight these days. Do you feel the same about your weight?" Most of the time, he will say, "Yeah, I do! I feel fat!" So then, we decide if we can come up with a plan together, that has each other's support to feel better about our bodies. One of them is to be each other's support on running, or diet changes.

If he were to say, "Wow, baby, you're putting on a few." I'd probably just tell him to F-off. Nah, I won't do that, but that would be my first reaction. If he does this, it says to me, you are fat. It's your problem, solve it, I'm outta here.

It helps a lot more when you approach it as an issue that you can solve together, with each other's support. And you come up with a plan together. When you do this, it says to me, I care about you, I am connected to you, I am committed to working with you and supporting you in this.

Hope that helps.

12-05-2008, 09:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
ns123 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 654	actually, when you only weigh 115 lbs putting on 5-10 pounds is a significant difference in looks. And if you weigh 120 lbs, gaining 5-10 pounds is even worse. I think so anyway. So I would have to agree with the OP. If you weight 200 lbs, 5-10 is nothing. Not that I'm saying anyone is fat or whatever, I'm just letting the OP know that it's ok to dislike putting on 5-10 lbs. I suspect your SO already feels bad about putting on the weight, she just won't say it to you or admit it out loud to herself. So instead of going, honey, you are looking a bit plump, you can plan fitness activities in which you both can enjoy together. I know when I see my man putting on some pounds (and me) it's more helpful that I bring up my own weight gain. Such as: "honey, I'm not feeling 100% happy with my weight these days. Do you feel the same about your weight?" Most of the time, he will say, "Yeah, I do! I feel fat!" So then, we decide if we can come up with a plan together, that has each other's support to feel better about our bodies. One of them is to be each other's support on running, or diet changes. If he were to say, "Wow, baby, you're putting on a few." I'd probably just tell him to F-off. Nah, I won't do that, but that would be my first reaction. If he does this, it says to me, you are fat. It's your problem, solve it, I'm outta here. It helps a lot more when you approach it as an issue that you can solve together, with each other's support. And you come up with a plan together. When you do this, it says to me, I care about you, I am connected to you, I am committed to working with you and supporting you in this. Hope that helps. Last edited by ns123; 12-05-2008 at 09:18 PM.