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Originally Posted by funchy  You cannot "fix" or change anyone else. When you truly understand that, your life will get much easier because decisions will be crystal-clear.  You have two choices: accept him as-is or move on. |
Dont get me wrong.. I do accept him.. and I dont try to "change" HIM.. but I do try to assist in changing some of his negative behaviours that have an affect on me. I do this by trying to explain that I am not attacking him, that it affects me and my happiness and try and get him to come around that way.
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Originally Posted by funchy If he felt that you were his soul-mate would he really be treating you this way? It sounds like he doesn't appreciate you. It also sounds like he's enjoying getting free maid service, his bills paid, and a personal chef.
Does he not realize a relationship is work, and by that I mean both partners need to contribute? He is not upholding his job as a partner. This is about him respecting you and fulfilling his role as partner. |
I know he feels I am his soul-mate because the rare times when he does open up.. (for example a few weeks back I asked him what he loved about me and he shocked me with some really beautiful words) I get that warm rush of love and feel so lucky to have this person in my life. We have a very rare connection that even outsiders can see, but we just need to get back on track..
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Originally Posted by funchy Here's what might happen: You're going to stay with him. Slowly the resentment will build. When you confront him, he'll sulk (The Clam) and make you feel like you were wrong for bringing it up. You'll feel worse about yourself because he's your soulmate. You'll think you must not deserve better treatment if this is the best your soulmate will do. You may feel depressed or powerless sometimes. Sometimes you'll feel overwhelmed because eveything is your job and it's not worth his Temper Tantrum to get his help. Eventually you'll end up hating him and hate yourself. |
This is exactly where I am at now.. I'm feeling both overwhelmed, and powerless.
(I feel I have pyschic abilities and have been told I am an empath and clairsentient, and this is overwhelming, but answers a lot of questions about my childhood.) I'm not sure what he thinks of my spiritual development or any of that either as he has virtually no comment. I dont know if this is because he has a problem with himself, or if it is me.
The virgo in me blames myself.. and the scorpio ascendent in me wants me to make my Taurus stop digging his heels by slapping him upside the head and dragging him to follow my lead to a positive new outlook on life. I know this will not work. the old "Can lead a horse to water, but cant make it drink" analogy.
As far as you saying that it sounds like this isn't a partnership - it doesnt always feel like one either.. It also feels like he is a man who is living like an irresponsible teenager and I'm the mother taking care of all of his needs.
I know this is not fair, and I have recently said to a friend.. this is all my fault.. I allowed this to happen for too long...
tryin to keep my chin up... but this happens every christmas... leaving someone you are deeply in love with but know they are not good for you cant be an easy thing... I might start another thread based on that topic..
XX love and light