Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockchick26  ...It seems to be the two extremes,either they don't want sex with me or they want it right away,never in between! |
This is the tricky bit. It's easiest to become friends with guys who like you, but aren't attracted to you, because if the attraction is there, they want to be more than friends.
So guys who are attracted to you want sex, dating, whatever. They don't want to wait "months", because it's too much hassle, or they think you're playing games, or it's just easier to go for someone else they are also attracted to you. They probably don't know you well enough to want to wait for you.
Guys who know you well and value you as a friend are likely not attracted to you in the first place. If they were, why would they torture themselves by being "just friends"? The guy friends who have crushes on you probably come across as needy or desperate, so you don't want them.
You need a friend who slowly falls for you over time, as you do for him. Or, you need a boyfriend who is patient and understanding. (Obviously, you know all this already.)
Are you physically affectionate with the men you date? Even if you don't want sex right away, are you cold and blocked off, or open and warm? There are plenty of men out there who will wait for sex, but very few (non psycho-stalkers) who will persevere in the face of (apparent) cold disinterest.
Is there something you are doing to drive men away, perhaps unconsciously? An unrealistic expectation or demand you are putting out there, or a "difficult" behavior? I'm not accusing, just asking. Most men will prefer not to wait a long time for sex, but there are plenty who are willing to do so, even if it feels like a bit of a sacrifice.
I wonder if you are attracting/pursuing the wrong kind of man, or if you are unintentionally driving away those who are a good fit for you.
You can certainly find a good man; you're obviously thoughtful and bright, and you've written that people find you physically attractive. You may just be stuck in a negative loop that needs to be broken. Have you asked friends or family you trust how they perceive your behavior re: dating? Right now, your view is from the inside out, and it might be helpful to get some third party feedback to understand how others see the situation.