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Originally Posted by skydust  what helped me was to ask what lesson i was meant to learn from that event. when the memory of something is so painful, it can be very difficult to find positivity in it in form of personal growth. we often miss the lesson because of this.
you could try meditate for while or whatever it is you do to get to that relaxed state where you feel good. then bring up the image of this event in your minds eye, and ask your higher self/guides/whatever, what you are supposed to learn from this. it surprised me quite a bit, but as soon as i heard the answer, it not only helped me let go, but also forgive the other person because they suddenly became a teacher, not a villain. |
That's a very good suggestion skydust.
Starfish, there are few ways to see what lessons you can learn from your past and from that person. What skydust suggested could be a very good one. You can test it out, if it doesn't work, then use other means.
In the book "Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know" By Barbara de-Angelis, she said that everyone we meet is our teacher in life. When a relationship has broken up, beyond those negative emotions, why not look at the lessons behind each event? If he left you, that means he has finished the things he need to teach you.
Yes, he is your teacher, not the villain.
Also, my counsellor recently told me this - when you forgive someone, you are actually forgiving yourself. Forgiveness release your anger, your anxiety and your hatred. Because you are the one who is holding on to all these negative emotions, and they are affecting YOU, not him. So, by telling yourself (either during meditation or during conscious deliberation) "I forgive you. I love you" repeatedly, you will feel much more relieved and most importantly, at peace with yourself.
I know how hard this process can be, and it takes a lot of love from yourself to be able to do this. I really empathise with you, and all the more we hope that you can walk out of this period and be strong.
Lastly, all the best to you. Tomorrow is a new year, and this could just be the best gift you can give to yourself?
Hugs!