Quote:
Originally Posted by The Probabilist  Respect and care for everyone, especially those who don't deserve it.
If you can't apply this to your parents, then at least apply it once you have kids of your own.
Then at least you've got a second chance to break a negative pattern. |
I think it is very wise to get complete with your parents BEFORE you procreate. If you're holding onto hurt and anger at your parents, you'll certainly carry that into your own parenting.
Likewise, I think that the "especially if they don't deserve it" approach is one of holding onto hurt and anger. Everybody deserves respect and care, don't they? That doesn't mean condoning their actions, or allowing yourself to be mistreated, but it does mean continually letting go of whatever you're clutching -- old pain, resentment, the need to be right, whatever it is that's turning your knuckles white.
For Hsiang-Lin, it might involve removing yourself, physically or emotionally, but I suspect that as generous as you are, you will eventually create a loving and free environment for everyone you're involved with.