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pyrogen · 11-29-2008, 05:29 PM

I've seen surprisingly little writing on this subject, so thought I'd bring it up...

I'm a recovering fantasy addict. I say "recovering" because even though fantasy-related stuff comprises very little of my life at this point, it's easy to get sucked back in whenever I get back with my "old crowd" of fellow fantasy addicts.

I used to spend a whole lot of time playing RPGs, and I was involved in the world of science fiction fandom. Still am to an extent - I'm still a Trekker, and still read s/f - but it isn't my whole life or even a quarter of my life.

One thing I found to be really destructive was that I could get into a space where most of my friends were centered around RPGs, most of our conversations were about RPG related stuff and our characters, and it became like we were gaming even when we weren't actively playing a game. Most of us were not very successful in any part of our lives and the activities we did just took up all of our energy, yet they became addictive and we couldn't quit. I'd think about my characters even when not in-game, and this would be most of what I thought about in my free time.
My mind would be focused on what amounted to mental masturbation even when with my partner or at a job. The friends I met through this were very negative forces, and more invested in fantasy than in personal growth/success.

For the first time I feel a lot of space from the addiction, but i'm aware I could always get sucked back in... when I meet old gaming friends invariably we start talking about our characters and I get triggered to obsess about my characters again.

Now I have a lot of mainstream things I do - exercise, dog-related stuff, the like... I write *fiction* but I'm able to find more balance with this, somehow writing a story/novel is a different mental process from gaming, and it has an eventual end point.

There's some extent to which I still feel different from the rest of society because of having *been* a fantasy addict... I don't know how I would ever explain my past to some people.

I wasted my teens, entire 20s and first part of my 30s being a fantasy addict.

11-29-2008, 05:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
pyrogen Banned Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Northern California Posts: 3,030	Fantasy Addiction I've seen surprisingly little writing on this subject, so thought I'd bring it up... I'm a recovering fantasy addict. I say "recovering" because even though fantasy-related stuff comprises very little of my life at this point, it's easy to get sucked back in whenever I get back with my "old crowd" of fellow fantasy addicts. I used to spend a whole lot of time playing RPGs, and I was involved in the world of science fiction fandom. Still am to an extent - I'm still a Trekker, and still read s/f - but it isn't my whole life or even a quarter of my life. One thing I found to be really destructive was that I could get into a space where most of my friends were centered around RPGs, most of our conversations were about RPG related stuff and our characters, and it became like we were gaming even when we weren't actively playing a game. Most of us were not very successful in any part of our lives and the activities we did just took up all of our energy, yet they became addictive and we couldn't quit. I'd think about my characters even when not in-game, and this would be most of what I thought about in my free time. My mind would be focused on what amounted to mental masturbation even when with my partner or at a job. The friends I met through this were very negative forces, and more invested in fantasy than in personal growth/success. For the first time I feel a lot of space from the addiction, but i'm aware I could always get sucked back in... when I meet old gaming friends invariably we start talking about our characters and I get triggered to obsess about my characters again. Now I have a lot of mainstream things I do - exercise, dog-related stuff, the like... I write fiction but I'm able to find more balance with this, somehow writing a story/novel is a different mental process from gaming, and it has an eventual end point. There's some extent to which I still feel different from the rest of society because of having been a fantasy addict... I don't know how I would ever explain my past to some people. I wasted my teens, entire 20s and first part of my 30s being a fantasy addict.