Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - My marriage broke down and I don't know where to turn, I need some help

kthdsn · 12-30-2006, 06:22 PM

I hate to break up the mouse conversation, but I have more to say.

I missed out part of the story because I didn't think it was relevant, but it just became very relevant. He works with this woman on Saturday nights, and they had a fling. 2 weekends, he went home with her instead of coming home to me. I forgave him and we were working through this.

He has been staying over at her house a few nights a week, he told me he just needed a break from the pain here, and I believed him, sort of. I guess I didn't really believe, I kept asking him what was going on between them, he kept telling me nothing. I kept asking. I guess I knew. He just told me.

He's moving in with her now, I am so devastated that he lied to me, he's snatched away the last thing we had, friendship. I feel like I've been shot. The pain is so great that I daren't cry because I don't want to feel it yet. I can't believe I ignored my instincts and tried to believe him.

I guess I was clinging to the last bit of hope that we could come through this positively. I was hiding from having to hurt. I can't do that any more. It's too much to bear. I feel so alone.

I know I will get through this in the long run, but I don't know what to do right this minute, everything seems pointless. Anger keeps the pain at bay but I don't want to feel anger. I want to be positive, but I don't know how. I feel empty, nothing. The pain is trying to get at me, but I can't face it. I know I have to go through the pain to get out the other side, but I don't think I have the strength right now. It's all been knocked out of me.

12-30-2006, 06:22 PM	#12 (permalink)
kthdsn Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Toronto Posts: 143	I hate to break up the mouse conversation, but I have more to say. I missed out part of the story because I didn't think it was relevant, but it just became very relevant. He works with this woman on Saturday nights, and they had a fling. 2 weekends, he went home with her instead of coming home to me. I forgave him and we were working through this. He has been staying over at her house a few nights a week, he told me he just needed a break from the pain here, and I believed him, sort of. I guess I didn't really believe, I kept asking him what was going on between them, he kept telling me nothing. I kept asking. I guess I knew. He just told me. He's moving in with her now, I am so devastated that he lied to me, he's snatched away the last thing we had, friendship. I feel like I've been shot. The pain is so great that I daren't cry because I don't want to feel it yet. I can't believe I ignored my instincts and tried to believe him. I guess I was clinging to the last bit of hope that we could come through this positively. I was hiding from having to hurt. I can't do that any more. It's too much to bear. I feel so alone. I know I will get through this in the long run, but I don't know what to do right this minute, everything seems pointless. Anger keeps the pain at bay but I don't want to feel anger. I want to be positive, but I don't know how. I feel empty, nothing. The pain is trying to get at me, but I can't face it. I know I have to go through the pain to get out the other side, but I don't think I have the strength right now. It's all been knocked out of me.