I'm not even sure if that is the problem though.....I don't know where to start now. It's like nothing is working. I don't have close relationships with my family. I hardly have friends anymore (most definately my fault for pushing peoplke away). I have never had an intimate relationship. I'm self-sabotaging at my job.....turning up late etc procrastinating (probably just to make myself more important). I have had 'muscle prolapse' or whatever its called from sitting and being depressed toolong. I'm really skinny but it's like all my muscles just....i dont know how to explain....'melt' or something....and it puts pressure on just my bones to hold me up so now ive got a bent spine. Ahhhh I'm just bloody complaining. What the hell is wrong with me. Is it the facft that I think something is wrong with me when nothing really is????
Also I have these little obsessions with celebritys etc...always girls...and I get insanely jealous of them...like stalk their pictures etc find out all about them even compare their astrology charts to mine......
And it might be the fact that they're actors......I always thought i wanted to be an actor. But I never went through with it because i thought i wasnt good enough. Also I didn't know whether I really wanted to act or if I just wanted to disappear into the movies and be those characters.....escapism as such.
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